8 reasons why everyone should travel alone at least once in their lives
1. To learn how to control your thoughts and to trust your gut
Most people go through their entire lives always having someone to talk to, having an opinion to hear or just generally being molded in some way by those around them. But what if the only thoughts we had in our head were our own? I sometimes think about the mind of a child and how they see the world with such optimism and positivity. Adults get molded by everyone else's opinions of what they should do and how they should act. Travelling solo helps clear the fog in our brain that is filled with what everyone else thinks; to make room for what we truly want. You learn that the little voice inside your head or the feeling in your stomach are right 99% of the time. Not all of our thoughts should be acted on, but when you're on your own in a foreign country, you learn sooner rather than later how to decipher the difference between things that are meant for you and intrusive thoughts. People always ask me: "weren't you scared being in [blank] country alone?", and the answer every time is no, not at all. If you act like an idiot and put yourself in compromising situations then sure, but if you trust your gut and do things safely and guided by your inner most feelings; you're golden.
2. To stop caring what people think and learn to love yourself
As a kid, I was always a super confident, ball of energy who was just full of life and ready to take on the world. After years of bullying in middle school, I kind of turned into a bit of a shell of a human. I lost all of my confidence and I was convinced that I was unwelcome in any sort of social atmosphere. Even though things eventually got better, I seemed to always yearn for validation from my peers to prove to myself that I was worth something. Little did I know, the main thing I lacked was love for myself. For me, my first 3 months travelling alone at 19 years old was the first real push I needed to start changing this. I kind of just tried to rewire my brain and learn to disconnect and let go of the social norms of what people thought was "acceptable". The girl who used to straighten her hair every single day, suddenly embraced her natural curls and had dreads and hair wraps just because it was funny and I felt like it. The people you grew up with who "know you best", don't always have your best interest, and sometimes it can be so liberating to get away from it all. Everyone is broken in some ways and projecting their own insecurities on others. What you "hate" about someone else is more often than not something you hate about yourself. When the voices of everyone else start to fade, because you're too far away to listen to them anymore, you'll be left with your own voice. What does that voice say about you? For me, I was like wait i'm actually a super honest, motivated, kind, beautiful, unique and weird individual, why don't I just own that? When you travel solo you get to face each day with a fresh slate. Odds are, you won't see any of the people you meet again; so take on each day as your most authentic self and the confidence will slowly become more and more deeply rooted inside of you.
3. To make yourself comfortable with being uncomfortable
When people think about going to a movie or a restaurant alone, their first thought is usually that it is sounds pretty weird or uncomfortable. While travelling solo, this is your every day reality and you learn pretty quickly that you can't just not do something because you don't have someone to do it with. Uncomfortable situations are inevitable, but what if you just accept whats uncomfortable rather than running away or filling silence with anxious rambling? When you're travelling alone, you are meeting new people every single day without an introduction or a friend group to make you feel initially comfortable. Its GOING to be uncomfortable at first sometimes, but when you push through the weird awkwardness of your first interactions, you can grow to create some beautiful connections. As much as its great meeting people while travelling, there will always be days where you are going to have to take on your day completely alone. While you're by yourself, you are going to come across some uncomfortable situations; or even worse, uncomfortable thoughts. When we sit in these times and embrace them rather than running from them, we can really make breakthroughs in our lives. Travelling solo truly opens up the door of opportunity to face the many things that are out of our comfort zone.
4. To put yourself out there and become more outgoing
Remember how I talked about being introverted and not being comfortable in many social situations? If anyone who knew me now were to describe me, I can guarantee that is not what they'd say. When I moved to Australia in 2015, it was with a friend who seemed to completely undermine me and make me feel small in most social situations. If you have someone to travel with that treats you as an equal and allows you to be yourself then great! But if you want want to learn how to be more outgoing, brave and assertive; travel alone. Travelling solo is truly what helped bring the extroverted side of my personality back out. I had myself convinced that I was not an outgoing person and I was content with just living life under the radar. This was until I was the only person left to dictate how I wanted to portray myself; and I did not want to live life unnoticed. My personally believe that honesty is the best policy and that we need to be straight up with ourselves and the people around us in order to embrace our true selves. Start by complimenting someone in your hostel or asking a random person on the street to take a picture of you. Next thing you know it you'll be bartering like a professional and standing up to a taxi driver who is trying to scam you. Literally every time you speak or open up to someone unfamiliar, you'll feel your personality start to shine through more and more. If you ever find yourself being the friend who lets other people speak or make decisions for you; book the ticket and start making decisions for yourself.
5. To experience new cultures and new perspectives of the world
I can honestly say that I am extremely envious of the people I know who have experienced living in other countries or moving around a lot in their childhood. Not the having to make new friends every year thing or the packing your life up all the time thing, but the opportunities to experience new perspectives and cultures at a young age. I would describe my upbringing as a bit of a bubble; primarily white town with privilege pumping through most of my peers' veins. When you are able to travel alone, you get to take in the culture shock at a much deeper level; without having the safety net of a companion to sit there and agree with you that what you're experiencing is not "normal" back at home. By immersing yourself into new cultures and languages, you are able to grasp a new understanding of the world that is outside of the realm of what you are used to. Am I saying your first trip alone should be backpacking South America? No, but start with something small like a weekend trip to the mountains and work your way up! Not everyone will appreciate aspects of new cultures that you do, and you can't force them to either. Take your hobbies and interests and use them as your superpower to propel you through solo travel. Listen to the locals, meet like minded people, respect local practices and just fill your brain with so much new information that you'll look back at your old perspective of the world and realize how small it really was.
6. To learn how to be content with solitude and create a stronger sense of self
Solitude is defined by "the state or situation of being alone". Isn't that kind of some peoples worst fear? Why would anyone want to do that to themselves? The thing is, being alone doesn't necessarily mean you are lonely. Learning the act of solitude can be really hard (especially for extroverts like me) when you get your energy from social interaction. The thing is though, the people who know themselves best are often those who spend time in solitude. Not just sitting alone, scrolling on endless social media platforms, but intentionally spending time to get to know yourself and grow. Learn about what your values are, how you see yourself, and what you want to put your energy into. Realize that the way someone treats you doesn't at all define you, its honestly reflects more on the circumstances they are in and how they see themselves. Everyone is facing their own battle and its great to put that in perspective, but how about we just face the internal battle we all have going on with ourselves and try to be content in our own skin? When you explore who you are, away from everyone who knows who you are, you become your purest self. You learn to leave everything behind that is not in alignment with who YOU want to be; all while falling deeply in love with yourself.
7. To gain true independence
We all eventually become adults, move out and think we've achieved "independence"; yet we're still calling our parents to help book a doctors appointment or file our taxes. As much as these are incredibly great things to do on your own (and I still help with them sometimes myself), I can't help but feel like there's more to being independent. Once you're on the other side of the world and the times zones and calling accessibility change, you kind of learn to figure things out for yourself. You learn to be comfortable with creating and executing a travel plan that you are passionate about. If you meet people that want to tag along then great, but if not, you learn to be content with just doing things that you want to see while taking action on plans that make you happy! I also find solo travel so much more productive, because you don't have to constantly worry about everyone else's opinions on what to do or where to eat. You feel like pizza? Get pizza! You want to stay somewhere an extra couple of days? Stay! You are on your own time clock and no one else's. The only opinion that matters is yours, and exploring by yourself with just your thoughts and actions to dictate how your day goes - now thats liberating.
8. To take your power back and heal
If you want to take your power back and create healing in your life, the best thing you can do is to shake up your environment and surround yourself with new stimulation and experiences. Do new things to break out of your normal habits and routines. Do activities and see places that you wouldn't normally to change your mental state. Especially if you're going though hurt in your life; travel makes life feel lighter. Force yourself to get out of bed every day because you're in a new exciting place that you can't bear to miss out on. It's truly a really healthy and effective way to forget hurt from the past and create a rebirth in the person you want to become. I have this theory that I should be consistently working towards my higher self. When I visualize the most complete version of me, what does she look like? When you think of all the things you want in a "dream" partner or friend, you're really thinking about all the things you want to give to the world; try your best to be that. It's ok to allow yourself to be happy; or at least try. You were happy before your hurt, and you can be happy again. You can learn how to heal in your own timing.
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